my former algebra teacher puts a stamp of her own face onto your quiz or test if you get a perfect score
i shit you not
at the university’s queer space there’s a sign that says “straight people: stop” and all these people around me stopped when they saw it and looked around nervously. straights will do anything if you write it on a sign
Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
New Yorker: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.